All of a sudden
As my eyes opened, I felt pinned to the bed. And didn’t know why.
I’d gone to bed exhausted but by now, 2am, I’d slipped one step further. I couldn’t lift my head off the pillow. My leg was locked, immobilised with pain.
My phone was far from reach in the next room and my housemate was out of town for work.
Remembering that my laptop was within reach, I had only one stark option: to email two friends who often write at night. One is an author, the other a journalist with deadlines in different time zones.
I cobbled together a message to them both that began with a cautionary, ‘this is not an email from Nigeria.’ No-one in their right mind would believe this call for help coming in the middle of the night, especially since I’d seen both ladies earlier in the day, at which point I had been in perfect health!
Naturally, I was startled when a reply arrived quickly. My traveller friend was online and had read my email. Miraculously. We are both long time meditators and, perhaps I could claim, we are tuned well to that frequency that some may call ‘angelic’. For me, it was all a question of trust.
Raja yoga meditation has taught me to trust the flow of events in the most far-reaching of ways. One aspect being that there is always benefit in what is happening, even though at this moment it was hard to see any silver lining. The subtle telephone line was working.
My other trust mantra is: ‘I will always receive what I need.’ My meditation has focused on the higher power for some three decades and, by now, I have seen countless spiritual ‘wonders’ guide me across what would otherwise be frightening hurdles.
So, too, during this dark night in January, my higher power, kept a finger on the pulse of events and saw that I got what I needed for this medical emergency.
Through all this, it had been difficult to convey how urgent my medical needs were. I wasn’t sure myself but as the ambo remarked, ‘We’d better get going,’ the magnitude of what had happened struck me. As did my luck. How fortunate I was that my friend had been reading emails at 3:30am. Call it serendipity or providence, I felt ‘looked after’.
As you read this note, you may be reflecting on a similar moment in your life, when you were ‘looked after by the universe’, i.e. when a situation was taken care of without you having to lift a finger or take control.
For some readers, the idea of the universe looking out for you may sound weird. I used to feel that way but before time, I found myself seeing ‘helping hands’ tucked into time. This makes big sense to me now, because each of us has left an invisible trail of activity in the waters of time. Or we could say, each thought word or action has left its trace in the air stream, sending wave upon wave out into the atmosphere, to return to us personally in some later determined space. Every action will boomerang back; guaranteed.
So in this sudden moment, I found myself falling into the cradle of my past actions (karma) and had no choice but to let go. Professional ambos and police were in charge. I didn’t know what was happening other than I was helpless. Yet I felt safe. The best response I could muster was a ‘thank you’ to those in the ambulance, A&E and to the wide ‘universe’, which stores the invisible repercussions of my past behaviours.
The suddenness of the event took its own toll on my sense of independence. My identity was reduced to being incapacitated. Not much to be proud of there. So I had to surrender to the present. What was happening, was it. No more than that.
In some odd way, my recognition of the fallibility of that moment allowed me to focus on my meditation. The only thing I could do was meditate. I placed my mind’s eye on the image of the soul - the indivisible point of light. Applying ‘soul consciousness’ in this way brought me huge comfort and stillness, and continues to be my ballast. None more so than on Australia Day 2016, when, literally, my legs were pulled from under me while the Light kept me strong.